| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2006|09:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  great mood | ] |
I dont really have anything to say so im not sure why i got in here. nothin better to do i guess..and i had to check my plane shiz for my big trip thats coming up!!:) IM SO FREAKING EXCITED. calin, i cant f'ing wait! We deffinatly are gonna roll off the plane pimped out. haha i cant wait to see the look on his face. I think Michael and Sara are coming with him so that will add to the dramatic effect. I'm really excited about me and my "hanging out" half. I dont know what we are even tho we've talked about it lol. He's like one of my very best guy friends in the entire world so its pretty cool. It sorta sucks that were not goin to prom together but i promised Pickens like a bazillion years ago, SO that would not have been very nice of me. Plus Pickens will be fun. hes such a sweetie. love him. k but Duckie needs his momma's attention:) He's just waking up and he cant get off my bed with out help lol. and now he's walking on the key board. not a good thing. Oh before i forget, me and kiera watched rent last night..and....there were to many interruptions and i didnt think i was understanding it and then at the end it all came together. its good ive decided lol iwasnt sure if i liked it or not but i think thats coz of what all was going on while we were watching it. Not good things. haha but im really done now. LOVE ALWAYS, CLare
Important P.S.--will everybody please say a prayer for Calins family n her grandpa! R.I.P |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|02:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
Wow..Im completly numb and wouldnt know where to begin even if i did have control of myself. it deffinatly makes u feel like an ungrateful shit. And as hard as this for me to think and much less even say i feel like Bobbi is happier now... |
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| Say hello, fall in love, wave goodbye |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|05:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  refreshed | ] |
Thats how it goes. You say hello, fall in love, and wave goodbye. I had the best weekend in the world. It was exactly what the doctor ordered lol. Laurence is amazing and i love it. There is so much to do and so many fun people and plus kansas city is only like 25 mins away. I hung out and met people this weekend that really changed alot of things for me. I have not been this incredibly happy in i dont know how long. It felt like i was a thousand miles away from everything even though i wasnt. once i got there i called my mom and then put my phone under my seat (lol yeah gay i know) but then i literally left it there all weekend. It was super nice. Im completly motivated now to go and get things done before school tomorrow so i better get on that before the feeling leaves me lol. |
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| Your gonna Be |
[Dec. 11th, 2005|01:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  touched | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Your Gonna be | ] |
Six pounds and 9 ounces
Looking up at me
Like I have all the answers
I hope I have the ones you need
I've never really done this
Now I know what scared is
Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong
Other times I'll let you just find out on your own
But that's when you'll be growing
And the whole time I'll be knowing
You're gonna fly
With every dream you chase
You're gonna cry
But know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair
But if you hang in there
You're gonna see
That sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe
Things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees
But always loved by me
You're gonna be
I'm afraid you'll have to suffer
Through some of my mistakes
Lord knows I'll be trying
Oh to give you what it takes
What it takes to know the difference
Between getting by and living
'Cause anything worth doing
Is worth doing all the way
Just know you'll have to live with
All the choices that you made
So make sure that you're always giving
Way more than you're taking
You're gonna fly
With every dream you chase
You're gonna cry
But know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair
But if you hang in there
You're gonna see
That sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe
Things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees
But always loved by me
You're gonna be
Someone's everything
You're gonna see
Just what you are to me
You're gonna fly (fly)
With every dream you chase
We just have to believe
Things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees
But always loved by me
You're gonna be
Always loved
By me |
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| Comment for Nikki |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|07:45 pm] |
OKay so i had this comment typed out back to you but for some reason it wouldnt let me do it and i got mad and gave up so im just gonna do it like this..but its still for you! lol k it said:
"aww im sorry!! Deffinatly didnt mean to scare you. Dont be scared tho :) And you deffinatly dont ever know. the quote left out an ass load of exceptions so no worries there. deffinatly leave the one you love when they dont deserve you and im gonna speak for the quote and say that it means "like" like a oh he's sorta cute but i've never talked to him before in my life type situation. Deffinatly not your situation! and i've used the word deffinatly way to much so im gonna go now! i dont ever really talk to u now that summer is over but i hope everything is goin so great for you!" |
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| Wise words of the day |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|09:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My dads damn tv n Katie all at once.... | ] |
Dont ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love...I heard that somewhere n now i dont even know where but that really made me think. probly because im sick n on a bunch of drugs n alot things seem really profound to me forwhatever reason but i thought it was cool. But anyways im trying to talk to Katie-o on the phone n do this n stay warm since im freezing to death n none of its workin so well for me so im gettin off here. Muah. Much love. |
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| Different this time.... |
[Nov. 27th, 2005|05:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Its going to be different this time! i know it. everything was so perfect and we talked about alot of things and everythings changed now. Really it has! Im so happy now. Something this perfect can not go wrong. And do i believe this bullshit im feeding myself? haha absolutly not. n you know what. i'll let you in on a little seret. nothin changed lol nothin is going to be different. today changed nothin lol i'm not stupid either. proud yet? yeah, thats what i thought. This has been a great break tho! its been so much fun so thats a posotive. Anyways, i cant stay focused on this. to much going on...i'll finish up later. |
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| Ahhh she was back!! |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|04:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
So we're sitting in fourth hour today and i look up and oh my lord who do i see? none other than Terra Luellen!! Deffinatly wasn't prepared for that one lol. Mrs Drake started crying and i thought it was because she was so scared to but i guess she was actually glad to see her or something wierd like that lol i dunno but i just know that it was wierd. She kept looking at me and she started talking about her and Stacy going to the game tonight and then she'd stare at me awhile. Kinda funny coz last time i saw her and Stacy together they were trying to kill me and alyssa. haha wow. some ppl are such bullies lol.
I'm so excited that this tri is almost over! It's been really tough and i'm glad that its over. The end is the hardest. AND im excited for our game tonight!! I want the best for this team because i feel like im closest to tho's seniors next to my class and it would just be kinda a fairy tale ending yah know. but win or lose i'll love them just the same!:) Hmm what else did i need to talk about? Nothing that i can think of. I'll get back on when i think of it tho. Love always, Clare |
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| Somtimes alot goes wrong.. |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|08:45 pm] |
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When it rains it pours! You just gotta keep your head up tho coz im sure it'll get better. it always does. i feel like im standing on the outside watching all my friends and other ppl have alot of things going for them and im like wait a min. why isnt that me? I dunno but its hard. I always feel like such the little ugly duckling. no use in whining about that because that is one thing that will never change. God made me this way for a reason. even if its to make the beautiful people look at me and feel blessed haha. ive been tryin so extremly hard to lose weight lately and its not working so im gonna try the new thing. No food at all. haha its gotta work! i hate it tho coz i mean its no secret that im humungo but it sucks even more when you really do try and nothin seems to work. but my parents sorta mentioned it last night so that drew the line lol. OH WELL THO. if at first you dont succeed try try again right?:) im trying to keep a good attitude about everything but sometimes its hard. and going through high school sometimes makes it tougher. yeah me and alyssa are cool again which is a good thing. It was sorta random how it happened tho coz we just started talking at the blood drive like no big deal and i dunno bout for her but it wasnt awkward for me at all. i sorta thought it would have been but nope so thats cool. but neways gotta go peace out. love, clare |
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| Shit happens, right? |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|10:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad, sick, confused | ] |
So Heather Blaylock was killed tonight in a car wreck. First time i heard it i didn't believe it but i guess its really true and it needs to be believed. its really wierd to because it happened on the way that i go home everyday. needless to say i'll take a new road home. It would be to wierd. I just saw her today in class and now i'll pretty much never see her, talk to her, or anything again. Damn. Its so wierd. And its hard because that could have happened to any of us. like probably not that very situation because i dont think i would be racing but like in any moment SOMETHING could happen and we could die. Thats hard to think about. i know i wouldnt be ready. Id probly burn in hell and i dont want that. Not that im like some horrible kid but i mean i dunno. And like I've talked to heather alot and she's so different then what ppl might think. i kinda liked hearing her stories. yeah you gotta kinda pick what your gonna believe and not believe but they were still funny. It makes me regret so much. It makes me mad that i wasted my entire freshman year and part of my sophmore year not ever taking the chance to talk to her just coz of what other ppl said about her. i've always had a class w/ her and i cant say that i've always been nice to her. Makes me feel pretty shitty. I dont wanna be a snob or anything like that. and i wouldnt want ppl to think i think i'm better than them because i hate that feeling. the feeling that somebody else is above you. i dont think heather really cared if ppl liked her or not but still just the principle of it. and like you can never go back and fix things. Im sure that when other ppl would make fun of her fangs i laughed. im sure that when other ppl made fun of farrett i chimed in. I feel sad, sick, and like a bitch all at the same time. and scared. scared because you have like an internal clock thats gonna go off sometime, when you have no idea when, and then thats going to be it. your life is gonna be over. and NOBODY EVER KNOWS WHEN. i dont wanna sit here and say that "im gonna change everything, and live my life w/ no regrets and do all the things i want to do because life is to short" because thats like the new years resolutions that you never keep but its all true. life is to short. sometimes WAY to short. and you really should live your life no regrets. but the reality of that happening isnt probly very good. This is the first time that somebody in my class has died too. Besides in Kindergarden a little boy died but im not sure that counts. i was to little to understand. but since i've been back in public schools this is the first time my class has had to go through it. Anyways i've gotta go and finish homework. Shit happens and life goes on right? I love you all, Clare |
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